Hey, my chosen name is Seb and I’ve been about for upcoming 20 years, or so. If I were to describe myself shortly I’m a glass golden retriever mosaic with all kinds of mediums. Glass, cotton, canvas. Peace, art, shared values. . .
I’m living twice like a lot of others; our younger years were robbed by lapses in basic parental judgement and emotional processing skills. By both parents and often childhood communities.
Drive
My primary goal is to build a community. That’s it.
When I think about it more, the more complicated it gets, and I didn’t even ask for all these prerequisites I need like sustainability and that rabbithole. But, I remember that I’m that guy who’s asking “what did you say?” to the person getting talked over.
Asking questions to the new person chilling because they aren’t warmed up yet. The small things because I can’t help but care. I’m still fighting with the fact of being happy of baring this accessibility.
THE DESTINY OF MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
2015 lil’ ol me
My dream right now is to be somewhere where I don’t feel ashamed saying greetings to strangers walking as well. Whenever we are doing something similar, there is immediate “Hi Ho!” reaction to my system and I’d like to get to know an individual.
It’s also hard to completely clear my tab modern day, but living simply for others. I refuse to NOT try my best, so another can find their lead in this experience. Which is IMPOSSIBLE to do if your consciousness is gone and the person is deceased.
This normal way of thinking found me last year. It has always been around. Receiving harsh lash backs in my car seat, when I would ask about the guy on the ground in the same corner, we passed driving to and from the superstore.
I can’t help but wonder is it genuinely beyond my fucking years ?
To keep it quaint, social media no longer feels that way, it just feels like interest media. That has been scaring me for blocks of time and affecting the type of content I even begin to plan. That’s why it has been so hard to think about having A community. It sounds crazy in a world where I grew up knowing that’s what I didn’t have.
A few years, work and realizations later, if I’m doing what everybody else is doing, I’m going to get people I DON’T want. Not intune with themselves or the planet, ones around them; with no interest to.
If not following others makes me crash and burn; at least I got off the ground.
I want to be capable of taking psychedelics when I’m 21. To an outsider to life, it can sound insane. I’ve always wanted to take shrooms, but I turned it down just because. I’m being honest; something genuinely didn’t feel right.
I have always been painfully aware of myself, what I’m doing, feeling, how I’m breathing, walking, everything in that current moment. So, after talking a bit I told myself I’d wait until I’m 21 and I have rid myself of everyone and everything who shouldn’t have involved in my life from the start.
I feel as if I’m chained and I have been desperately trying to die. I need to see myself.
Personal WIPs
No antiperspirants, bodywash, body soap
I’m avoiding deodorant, liquid body washes and soap. I’m using an all-natural degradable dried sponge and the water that comes out of the faucet.
The sponge is very gritty due to it being natural. I am still scrubbing off dead skin cells, just not replacing it with the chemicals.
The objective of this is to let the bacteria that my body naturally makes do it’s thing while I watch.
Far reader
It’s okay to have EDS, ADHD, Depression, Gender Dysphoria, Anxiety, BPD, you name it. Checking yourself. Is where. Everything. Starts. I love you.